As a little girl, I don't remember having pretend weddings or dreaming about one day wearing a beautiful white gown and walking down the aisle. The only dream I remember having was working downtown Minneapolis when I grew up and being a big city girl. And here I am, living in Minneapolis and working downtown. I never had any big ideas about love. I didn't dream about my Prince Charming. I can't say that I never think about getting married. I have thought about it. But is not my goal in life to get married and make babies. I think several women think that they need to get married and have children because if they don't, society will judge them or their family and friends will judge them. I think this is a new era where women can choose to get married if they find someone they want to make that commitment to; and if not, that's completely okay.
When my mom was a little girl, she sat near the shores of Lake Superior and dreamed of having the perfect husband and having children. She felt like having kids was her purpose in life and she knew early on that it was what she needed to do. When she met a handsome older man at a party as a teenager, she was smitten. She thought that he was her chance for love, marriage and children. Unfortunately, it didn't turn out to be a fairy tale. It was far from perfect. She spent the majority of her marriage in fear. She wasn't loved the way she should have been; not the way she had dreamed of. She had my brother first and then had me two years later. After enduring years of pain, she divorced my father. A new life waited for her, and maybe new love. Maybe the kind of love she had always dreamed of. I saw my mom get her heart broken many times. I saw her learn time and time again that the men she found could not give her the kind of love she deserved. I saw too many tears.
My mom is 51 years old now and for the first time in her life, she feels happy and content. She has a job that is satisfying on many levels and opened a non-profit organization that focuses on using art as a healing tool for victims of domestic and sexual violence. She has found her purpose on life. It isn't to find love from a man, but to give love to others. She has changed people's lives, including her own.
Growing up with this woman as my mentor has made me the person I am today. I didn't enjoy watching my mother get hurt, but I know now that romance and love are not my purpose in life. I have a much bigger purpose, as did my mom. She couldn't be happier with her children and she learned from the mistakes she made. Every path we go down in life leads us to where we are for a reason. If I end up finding love, that will be great. I will embrace it with open arms. But if I don't, I am completely content living my life on my own. I have so many wonderful friends and family members that fill me up with all different kinds of love. It doesn't always have to be the romantic kind. I'm not going to spend my days searching for love from a man. I'd rather spend my days searching for love in other ways and giving it back in any way I can. Because love comes in many forms and all forms are fulfilling on so many levels.
Lead with your heart... <3
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