Clumsy!!

I just broke my umpteenth glass while putting away dishes tonight. I cannot tell you how many times I have broken stuff in my apartment.

If I had to describe myself in a few words, I'd have to use uncoordinated, clumsy and awkward. I'm constantly falling and tripping, breaking things, running into walls and cutting myself. I am not sure where this comes from. My mom is pretty clumsy and accident prone herself but I can't help but wonder if I'm causing these issues myself.

I have a hard time being on time to things if they are early in the morning; one being work. I swear I am running late and in a frenzy every day of the week in the morning. And it seems like something always happens to make me even more late, like I spill coffee on myself, break something, pick out an outfit and don't realize it has a stain on it until I am about to leave and then have to change my entire outfit, or I just can't find clothes. The first issue is waking up. My sleeping patterns are completely off balance and I seem to fall into my deepest, most restful sleep only a few hours before my alarm buzzes in my ear.

It seems that chaos, clumsiness and awkwardness just follow me wherever I go. I try to change it by getting up earlier and it will happen for a couple day but then I immediately cycle back into my chaotic crazy mornings.

I am actually amazed that I haven't seriously injured myself. This past weekend I fell down about 5 marble stairs while carrying too many things and was just stuck in my own thoughts and not paying attention. Luckily I caught myself with a heel in my ass and prevented a serious accident. I walked away with minor scrapes and bruises. And thankfully no one saw me either.

One night I woke up to my cat attempting to break into the banana bread on my kitchen counter. I immediately jumped out of bed and ran to the kitchen to prevent a mess and a pile of vomit to clean up later. Barefooted on my hardwood floors, I turned the corner too quickly and performed a cartoon-like triple slip before landing in the doorway of my bathroom and hitting the wood frame with my arm. It was somewhat embarrassing explaining to my coworkers what happened to my scraped and bruised arm.

I'm afraid it's become a part of daily life for me and as much as it frustrates me, I've grown to not be surprised when I injure myself or destroy something. Sometimes I wonder if this is how I'll always be or maybe I haven't found my balance in life yet. I feel like I'm always in a rush and forget to take time to breathe and take a break from my own over-thinking to actually pay attention to what I'm doing.

I'll get there eventually... I hope. :)

Lead with your heart... even if it steers you head first down a flight of marble stairs.